Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I can barely type this but am hoping that forcing myself to do so will help me deal with all of this.
We lost our beloved Archie in the middle of the night, taken from us too too soon.
Archie had a heart condition, which I always knew we would be dealing with eventually but all yearly check-ups pointed to many, many years down the road from now. We awoke to Archie coughing up blood and thrashing and beginning to seize early this morning and all my attempts to resucitate him and administer cpr failed as he died in my arms somewhere before 1am. Just moments earlier he had been pressed up against my feet purring at the foot of the bed.
The shock of all of this is still so raw and I feel like I don't know what I'm saying or doing. It was all over so horribly, excrutiatingly fast that I still kept expecting him to just shake it off and snap out of it.
People who aren't rampant animal lovers as I am may never understand that Archie was essentially my baby boy and at times the only thing that would make me smile on any given day. I would rush home from work knowing that every day like clockwork he would run down to the door to greet me and purr in my arms for ten minutes before I was finally able to take my coat off.
I've never had a cat as sweet tempered and lovingly dispositioned as Archie. He was quiet and loving and when he dolled out affection you felt like you were the only person in the world. He will be sorely missed.
I am hurting so much right now and absolutely everything in this house and everywhere I look reminds me of him. I take solace in knowing that he led a life full of fun and love and that he had us with him at the end. As agonizing as that may have been I would have hated to have not been there and forever wondering what happened and what I could have done, instead of what I'm left with: "could I have done more?" It is all so painful and the scenes keep replaying over and over in my head in slow motion.
Archie, I love you and will think about you every day for the rest of my life. You were my special little guy and there will never be another one like you.