Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Archie


2004-2009



I can barely type this but am hoping that forcing myself to do so will help me deal with all of this.

We lost our beloved Archie in the middle of the night, taken from us too too soon.

Archie had a heart condition, which I always knew we would be dealing with eventually but all yearly check-ups pointed to many, many years down the road from now. We awoke to Archie coughing up blood and thrashing and beginning to seize early this morning and all my attempts to resucitate him and administer cpr failed as he died in my arms somewhere before 1am. Just moments earlier he had been pressed up against my feet purring at the foot of the bed.

The shock of all of this is still so raw and I feel like I don't know what I'm saying or doing. It was all over so horribly, excrutiatingly fast that I still kept expecting him to just shake it off and snap out of it.

People who aren't rampant animal lovers as I am may never understand that Archie was essentially my baby boy and at times the only thing that would make me smile on any given day. I would rush home from work knowing that every day like clockwork he would run down to the door to greet me and purr in my arms for ten minutes before I was finally able to take my coat off.

I've never had a cat as sweet tempered and lovingly dispositioned as Archie. He was quiet and loving and when he dolled out affection you felt like you were the only person in the world. He will be sorely missed.

I am hurting so much right now and absolutely everything in this house and everywhere I look reminds me of him. I take solace in knowing that he led a life full of fun and love and that he had us with him at the end. As agonizing as that may have been I would have hated to have not been there and forever wondering what happened and what I could have done, instead of what I'm left with: "could I have done more?" It is all so painful and the scenes keep replaying over and over in my head in slow motion.

Archie, I love you and will think about you every day for the rest of my life. You were my special little guy and there will never be another one like you.

28 comments:

Beth said...

I'm so so sorry for your loss! I lost my cat, Scruffy, in October of last year, and was distraught over it for a long time. Hope you can smile again soon!

Deviated Septum said...

I am so sad about all of this. You have to know that there was nothing you could have done differently to stop this and he loved you so much. And more importantly, he knew he was so loved by both of you guys. You gave him the best life. We're really going to miss him.

Meghan said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I've grown up always having animals in the house, and even when you do know they've had a long, happy life...I mean, you've lost a family member. Of course that's going to be heart-rending. My thoughts go out to you.

stina said...

i am so sad to hear about this. i've lost two cats myself who was like family, luckily i dind't have to see them go.

i'm so sorry for your loss. he was a really beautiful cat.

xo

Vero said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. And no, I'm sure there is nothing more you could have done.

My heart goes out to you guys. :(

littlebirdbigcity said...

I am incredibly sorry to hear about all of this, it puts a lump in my throat just to read your story.
I had a very sad experience today as well, although nothing in comparison. I will be unable to take my cat to Oregon with me. I had to say goodbye to him today as I dropped him off with a friend. I knew he didn't understand the situation and all I could feel was guilt and pain. I know he will be better off now,but it still hurts anyways. I will think of him everyday, just as you will Archie. I really feel for you, and know that you have a lot of friends thinking of you.

beverlyanne said...

I am so sorry that you lost Archie. I am sure that you gave him the best life possible, and I hope that can be some consolation to you.

Alice from france said...

Oh such a tragic things makes me want to cry for you, i love so so much my animals that i can't think about loosing them! Courage for the rest of these sad days to come. I send you many hugs and thoughts!

emily said...

Ugh I am in tears after reading your post. My sincerest condolences for your loss. He sounded like an amazing kitty!

jillian said...

I'm so, so sorry. So sad for you. We have 2 cats that are like members of the family, basically our children, and I can scarcely begin to imagine the shock and grief you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you.

ern said...

I'm so sorry :(

I cant imagine how you're feeling...

whistlepeaknits said...

Oh, I'm so sorry Cara. The only thing I can say is that you won't feel so bad forever.

Ashley said...

I am really very sorry. I'm a big animal lover too. And there really is nothing you could have done. My family had a beloved little dog for 10 years, and last year, she started getting really sick, it turned out she had an infection in her uturus, which is pretty common for pomeranians, and she was so sick, she had to be put to sleep. We're all still very sad about it, but she was sick, and there was nothing we could do about it.
I feel very sad for you, and it really is like losing a member of the family, but you can remember what fun Archie was! We still talk about the funny things our dog did. I hope soon you will find comfort in being able to talk and laugh about Archie the cat!

Virtuous said...

Ooh my goodness Cara...I am so very sorry that Archie had passed away suddenly and in so much pain. I know you are hurting really bad right now, but take comfort in your sweet memories of him!!

{{{Extra e-hugs}}}

stitchywitch said...

I'm so sorry about your beautiful kitty... I know it is one of the worst things to lose a beloved pet, but I hope that soon you can smile at the wonderful times you had with him!

Julia said...

Oh my god! I'm SO sorry. Losing a pet is so hard. Be glad he didn't suffer long. And hey, Selena can show him the ropes in kitty heaven! It WILL get easier - BIG HUGS!

Nettie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure that you lavished love on him while he was with you. I'm sure it didn't go unnoticed by him.

kgirl said...

one of the hardest things you ever have to do is say goodbye to those furry soul mates - I'm so sorry to hear your news. He seems like he was a great friend and I'm sure he was much loved and had a wonderful life with you guys.

x
K

donnac368 said...

I'm so sorry. He is at peace.

Rachel said...

Im so sorry for your loss! I lost my cat Whiskers this past summer. He was my beloved, I'd had him for 15 years, since third grade! They really are members of the family. My heart goes out to you.

melissa said...

i'm so sorry! he sounds like such a great cat. :(

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you, I'm very sorry for your lost. What a sweet kitty. His body is gone, but his spirit will always live on, and within you. peace to you and your family.-dg

SmashingPuffin said...

So sad. I am so sorry, petal.

Cole said...

I'm deeply sorry for your loss of Archie. I'm sure he held you in very high regard for taking such great care of him even throughout his condition. A loss of a pet is never easy; it's just as if a family member has passed on. Such a beautiful cat to loose here on earth but he is also a beautiful soul to watch over you from heaven.

whaaaa? said...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Sarah said...

Oh Cara - I'm so so sorry, sending you a hug.

Ella said...

I think it was Shakespeare that wrote "Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break."

A wise person speaks to their grief. We are here - we will hear you and participate. And hopefully lessen the pain.

rebecca s. said...

I'm so sorry, Cara. I know how hard it is, but I promise it will get easier. When I lost my Sheba a few years ago it was one of the most difficult times in my life. We think of her fondly and miss her so much, but it is somehow easier. Just keep busy as best you can and remember all of the love and good times you shared (cheesy as that may sound). *big hugs*

~Rebecca (misscupcake on LJ)